How to Stop Wasting Time Fighting with Your Reality

I want to revisit the topic of resisting reality because I see so many of my clients stuck in a cycle of frustration and wasted energy, fighting against the things happening in their lives and businesses.

Here’s the truth:
What happens to us isn’t usually the problem. The real issue is our inability to accept that it’s happening in the first place.

Let me paint a picture:
You plan a webinar. You’ve put in the time, effort, and excitement to make it a success. But when the moment comes, the tech fails.

Immediately, the panic sets in. You worry about how to fix it, berate yourself for not double- or triple-checking the setup, and mourn the "wasted" effort and opportunity.

But here’s the thing: none of that mental drama actually solves the problem.

The reality? Tech glitches happen. They just do. Wishing they didn’t or arguing that it shouldn’t have happened won’t change the fact that it did. All that resistance only drains your time, your energy, and your peace of mind.

As Byron Katie so aptly reminds us, when we argue with reality, we lose—every single time.

What do we lose?
• Peace of mind: Instead of staying calm and focused, we spiral into frustration and overwhelm.
• Capacity to problem-solve: It’s hard to think clearly when we’re busy blaming ourselves, others, or the situation.
• Momentum: Instead of moving forward, we’re stuck in the past, wishing it hadn’t happened.

Accepting Reality vs. Resignation
Now, let me be clear: Accepting reality doesn’t mean you just shrug and give up. It’s not about throwing in the towel or ignoring the problem.

Acceptance means you stop wasting energy arguing with the fact that it happened. You acknowledge it—and then you decide what to do next.

When you approach challenges from a place of acceptance, you cut out the unnecessary drama. You stop spinning your wheels wishing things were different and start focusing on what you can control.

What Happens When You Let Go of Resistance
When you stop fighting reality, you free up time, energy, and mental clarity to handle what’s in front of you. Instead of letting frustration derail you, you’re able to:
• Solve the problem more effectively.
• Stay calm and grounded, even when things go sideways.
• Keep your momentum going, rather than wasting time in the “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve” loop.
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Next Time Life Happens…
The next time the proverbial hits the fan, try this:
1. Pause and take a breath.
2. Acknowledge what’s happened without judgment.
3. Ask yourself: Now that this has happened, what do I want to do about it?

That’s where your power lies—not in resisting what’s happening, but in deciding how to respond.

Reality will never stop throwing curveballs. But when you stop arguing with it, you’ll be amazed at how much lighter, calmer, and more effective you feel.

So, what’s one area of your life or business where you can stop fighting with reality today?