Time-leeching Rules

I have noticed recently how much time I spend doing stuff in my life that I really don’t need to be doing.  Doing things I don’t enjoy.  Sometimes it’s stuff I’m not good at and sometimes it’s things I excel in but still don’t relish.

If you’re interested, the sort of “stuff” I’m talking about pops up in my business and home life.  For my work, lots of things to do with technology bore me and I find them tedious to learn and apply.  At home, it can show up in obvious ways like doing the ironing or in weirder ways too like watching the rest of a movie I’m not enjoying or ringing someone that I don’t really want to talk to but think I should.

There are a variety of reasons I have noticed for why I’m doing this stuff and a common theme that flows throughout is because of a self-made/adopted rule I am consciously or sub-consciously choosing to follow.

For example, I have read or heard someone I respect tell me that I should be doing everything myself in my business so I can learn and fail and work through that experience.  This “truth” is aligned with some of my thoughts about hard work, so I grab on it and then when I hear another expert say just outsource the stuff that is outside your zone of genius and focus on what you are good at, my brain says no that’s not the “right” way because of this new rule I have adopted.  Queue hours spent in a wormhole of YouTube videos and courses.

In my personal life, I have expectations of myself that prescribe how I want to act and behave which help me grow and learn, but sometimes these expectations, when more closely examined are funny and no longer aligned with my values.

By way of a disclaimer, I am by no means criticising the wonderful people that have so willingly shared their wisdom with me or laying any blame at their door.  My choices have been my own, but they have been made through the filters of these rules I have adopted and have resulted in my wasting so much of my precious time for no great reason.

So, what do we do to overcome these time-leeching expectations?  Like I coach my clients, step 1 begins with awareness.  Start noticing these self-adopted rules you are following mindlessly or intentionally and begin the process of shining the spotlight on these rules by asking yourself some of these questions:

# What are my rules for myself at home and at work?
# Why do I believe them?
# Do I like my reasons?
# Are these beliefs aligned with who I am today and who I want to become?
# If not, what are some new beliefs I want to adopt?
# What would get in my way of believing these new things?
# How would my life change if I believed these new things?

With this awareness you can start re-deciding whether these rules fit you and your life which can be fun and freeing.